"An Unwanted Transformation"

Days when doubt clouded your mind, Months when your best you couldn’t find,

Through trials that blackened your soul, Strength will rise from the shadows that took their toll.

Not each day was the analogous, they said,

But I was being trapped into that viscous loop, yet everyone fled.

The demons of my mind screaming out loud, but I didn't know how they could be stopped,

Noise that was thunderous enough , To drown out my hope and make me feel rough.

For a straight one year, I was not me,  

How do I tell that fire was consuming me, 

Burning through the core, stripping my will, 

a blaze so fierce, I couldn't sit still.

 The flames fed on doubt, despair, and grief,

 Every spark a reminder, every ember a thief.

 I searched for solace, I searched for peace, 

But the fire within refused to cease.  

 How could I break free from this endless fight, When the fire within was both curse and light?

Oh man! Oh man! I can't imagine to go through that imaginary hell again,

The life in reality was much beautiful, but those overpowering demons made it sorrowful,

Trust me when I say, I can't, I really can't imagine to relive that phase again,

Because it will shatter my soul that is finally experiencing soothing rain.

Throughout this whole time, One thing that I didn't understand was that,

Everything doesn't and shouldn't age like fine wine'

I was trying to find a home in this new flight, a home to hold me tight, 

A home who would hear my each and every plight.

 

But the final question remained "Did I found my home",

And the answer is "A BIG NO".

Rather than seeking a home in a world so cruel,

I found that the love I needed was within, as a rule.

For in each of us, there's a home, a place so true,

 Where love resides, and it starts with you.

It took time to see, through the pain and the bends,

"I AM JUST A FRIEND WHO DOESN'T OR MAYBE WILL NEVER HAVE ANY FRIENDS".

 

 

Trust me, I have friends from the place I once knew,

The land that shaped me, where bonds once grew.

But in this new world, where I sought to reside, I had to accept, with no place to hide,

That selfless bonds are hard to find, In a place so foreign, leaving me behind.

But you know what, there’s a peace I’ve found so profound,

I set my boundaries, stopped letting drainers around.

I learned to accept that "PEOPLE AREN'T BLACK OR WHITE",

They’re just GREY CHARACTERS, fighting unseen fights.

Maybe no one will hold you up or keep you on track,

But that’s okay, for they’re struggling to keep theirs intact.

So let’s reconnect with our roots, let the journey begin,

Taking the road less traveled, where new paths will spin.

From the ashes, a truth started to show, The flames that destroy may also help you grow.

The strength to rise, the will to withstand,

From the blaze, I’d rebuild and take command.

No longer a victim of sorrow and strife, 

But the creator of my own reborn life.

To down to ups, you know what helped, 

that unshakable faith in that One,

A light in the dark when the battles were won,

Guiding me through when all hope was gone,

A steady hand when my strength had undone.